Hello-hello, all. The Consort striding confidently to the microphone today. The lovely and talented Princess is spending a portion of the day undergoing a root canal and so I will attempt to entertain you for the next few moments. She anticipates being back with you all tomorrow. Meanwhile, she would appreciate your kind thoughts and suggestions for pain relief.
We begin today with a confession. As many of you may know we gift wrap the items purchased from PreppyPrincess.com. It’s a great joy for us to hear from customers who open up their shipping box and get that little surprise. The Princess enjoys wrapping the items and adding a personal note. There are times when I attempt to lend a hand. That’s when things go horribly off the rails.
I struggle with gift wrapping. Oh, sure, I get the concept but the execution is just beyond my reach. Being somewhat analytical I thought I could find some instruction online. There’s plenty of help but nothing seems to be working. I can only imagine the reaction when our customers open their box and find my handiwork:
She: AHHH! It’s hideous!
He (in another room): What? What?
She: Where are the kids? Hide the kids! Don’t let them come in here and see this!
He: See what? Where?
She: Our package from The Preppy Princess arrived and it looks like a grizzly bear tried to wrap these things! Oh, the humanity!
He (rushing into room): Look away! Don’t stare at the wrapping!
She: Look at those sloppy creases… those messy folds. It can only mean one thing… The Consort has struck again!
(fade to black)
Maybe I’m being a bit melodramatic. But when your purchases from The Princess arrive don’t panic if they look like they were wrapped in the chimpanzee house at the Bronx Zoo. It’s only me with another work of art in progress. I just happen to be inspired by the surrealists.
While we’re on the topic of surreal: Do we really need a little Christmas right this very minute? The number of advertisements, be they print, online or broadcast, is already reaching the saturation point and we haven’t even hit double-digit days in November. I understand the scent of desperation is in the air around many retailers. But this onslaught began in mid-October and the messages are beginning to blur. There’s also the issue of the never-ending sales. Consumers are smarter than some retailers seem to want to acknowledge. What do you think? At what point do you shut it all out? Don’t get me wrong: I love the holidays. I just don’t appreciate being assaulted by advertisers.
Which brings us to the Mad Men finale.
So now, while Betty Draper heads to Reno for a quickie divorce, Don and the gang commit I don’t know how many felonies while launching their own advertising agency. Interesting. It’s also interesting that Don Draper, our favorite lone wolf, finally realized that he needs other people if he is going to succeed. Best line of the night? Roger: “Peggy, get me some coffee.” Peggy: “No.” There you go. The tone is set for Season Four.
Oh, look. It’s time to climb down off of the soapbox and take my blood pressure medicine. I appreciate your gentle patience and hope you’ll visit us tomorrow when The Princess is feeling more chipper. Meanwhile, remember to treat your waitperson right; they’re working hard for you today. I’d like to leave you with the distinctive song stylings of a young woman who has apparently done some relationship comparison studies. Good night, everyone.